Time Well Wasted

I don’t wanna think about what’s gonna be after this, I wanna just live right now…

I always try to live in the here and now but I also fall into the trap where I feel like I need to plan out my life. Honestly, that is just not possible though, I have no idea where I am going to end up after I graduate. Yes, it’s a little scary but at the same time it refreshing, to feel that free, to not have anything holding you down to have the ability to choose for yourself  where you will go from here on. I’ve wasted so much time trying to figure out what is in store for my future but I guess in the long run it has always been worth it. It has brought me to where I am today, all the bad decisions, heartbreaks, failures, and missed opportunities.  Without them I wouldn’t be where I am now, and I’d say I’m pretty happy with where I am.  I’ve always been a strong believer of the phrase “Everything happens for a reason, if it’s meant to be it will be”.  The things that happen in you’re life were meant to test you, teach you, and make  you who you are. But is it that simple? Can we all just be pawns in the game of fate? I am also a strong believer that you make your life what you want it to be.  How can everything be fate and yet still be controlled by us? It is possible.  Maybe the man upstairs wants us to believe that we are making our own choices and that we are in control but their really is a plan for each one of  us. YEP, that’s what I am going with. Still, sometimes I wonder, maybe if I would have tried harder, said the words I needed to say, picked a different course for my life, what would   have happened? Would I still be in the same place I am today or would my life be so much different? I guess we will never know.  It’s crazy, day by day it seems that nothing has changed, but if I look back a year from now everything is different. Things happen because they are suppose to, but you can’t just sit back and wait for it, you have to go out there and make it happen.  Trust me, if it is meant to be it will be, if not then just let it go. Life is much easier that way.